You wake up in the middle of the night and are having difficulty breathing, what do you do? - Hopefully you don’t panic, as hyperventilating is hardly going to help the situation is it?
Despite that I have to admit if it happened to me I doubt I’d be exactly calm, after all I am rather used to breathing and I wouldn’t say that I enjoy it, but I am addicted. I couldn’t live without breathing and if I stopped I am sure I’d get some pretty severe physical side effects. In fact I would go so far as to say that breathing is more addictive than heroin, but I digress…
Why am I wasting my breathe rambling on about breathing? Because of this tale, where it could so easily have gone badly wrong. I mean I’ve seen the use a biro to keep the airways open routine on Casualty or some other equally gory programme, but I would never consider doing that to someone - Let alone performing a tracheotomy on myself with a steak knife.
Of course if I ever found myself in such a situation I might change my mind, but I hope I don’t find myself in such a situation and if I have to I hope that it is when I have a place of my own and a decently equipped kitchen as I know how sharp the knives in my kitchen currently aren’t!
Otherwise I’d have killed it tonight when I dyed it. Badumtish!
Sadly as I have interviews and the like coming up I have not been able to be as extravagant with my hair as in the past - Realistically my hair colour makes no difference to who I am, but it makes a world of difference to some people what they think of you and interviewers tend to be such people I suspect.
… I would have screamed when this ran past my hand earlier.
Luckily I am not scared of spiders, I just dislike them (despite the useful role they provide in pest control) and so instead of screaming I reached for my camera - Once I’d got the photo though it was time to find a glass and a piece of paper to evict Boris the Spider. I’d usually treat my models with more courtesy, but then again my models don’t usually have 8 legs.
I know I am not a genius, I am just above average but I felt incredibly stupid today when I watched this video as it took me far longer to get the joke than it should have.
If you get the joke in less than 30 seconds you did better than I did.
I’ve been out spending my hard earned money today and whilst I was out I noticed this “offer” in a shoe shop. Needless to say such a generous offer didn’t tempt me overly, even if I did like the colour of the shoes.
I’ll admit that I might not quite be up to the challenge of writing headlines for The Sun, but I could certainly do better than whoever the BBC employs. Browsing the news on the BBC website today I noticed an article for a few days ago headlined as “LSD Inventor Albert Hofmann Dies” - Surely a more appropriate (or at least more amusing) headline would have been, “LSD Inventor Goes On Last Trip”.
