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I’ve maintained for ages that drinking cider is good for you despite it’s nickname of gutrot. After all if wine and beer can be good for you, then why not cider after all it’s just potent apple juice!

Now I have always joked about it being a source of vitamin C and counting as one of the five pieces of fruit and veg that a person should have each day and so it comes as somewhat of a surprise that I may not have been wrong all this time about the health benefits of cider, as cider apples are good for you and could help provide protection against strokes and cancer, although they are only now checking to see if the benefits are passed onto cider produced from these apples.

I’ll raise my glass to that!

Work is still as exciting as ever and although we have now started to play cards to pass the time as before random conversations and note passings are still very much the order of the day. I need a different job!

Time for a random silly note… Bananas!!!

Hmmm, yes how random! Suppose I’d better be random back! CHEESE!

But I don’t like cheese it reminds me of my feet and I wouldn’t want to eat them.

What? You don’t like cheese? That’s terrible! Not even lonely smelly stilton?

Not even stilton. It’s all because of a tragic accident where my mother fell into a cheese processing plant and was turned into a statue of solid cheddar. We keep her in the front room and use her as a drinks holder at cocktail parties.

Oh I see, that is tragic and I fully understand your cheese phobia now.

I am glad that you do,most people don’t - they laugh at me.

Awwww, that’s incredibly mean of them! It’s not your fault your mum is made of cheese.

I know. The courts decided that it was my dad’s fault, because he pushed her into it.

Oh dear! What kind of sentence does one get for turning people into cheese?

Well as he did such a good job of turning my mum into cheese he was sentenced to community service with the company and when that ended the company hired him.

What an interesting career! Your house must be really smelly though with your cheesed off mother and your father working in the business. No wonder you have gone off the smell.

Exactly and my dad’s new career has gone so well that he now owns the company and is the BIG CHEESE!

After a few days away at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival here is a small account of a couple of the things that I got up to - I haven’t really mentioned going to see plays etc at all as that is a given really.

Guten Tag Edinburgh

Oh how I love twelve hour coach journeys in conditions that truly challenge my claim to be able to sleep anywhere, still I am here now and for the moment at least I don’t want to think about the fact I have to repeat this journey in reverse at the end of the week.

After getting in at seven thirty in the morning I decided that my legs needed stretching after being cooped up for the last half a day and so I set off on a walk around Edinburgh and give my friends who were already there and who unlike me had enjoyed (and at that time still enjoying) a good nights sleep.

So picking a direction I first headed out towards Haymarket navigating by interesting things on the horizon and when things ran out in that direction I picked another direction and ultimately ended up at the National Monument on Carlton Hill.

Now I wasn’t wearing my German detector (more on that later) but I couldn’t seem to help but run into Germans on my wanderings as at the top of Carlton Hill in pursuit of photos I wound up near a tour group and overhearing some German. Deciding to test my German and pick up a little knowledge on the history of Edinburgh at the same time I stopped to listen and was soon talking happily to a couple of people from the group in German.

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Hello! As you may have gathered from the title, this is a guest spot from two of Dave’s pretentious friends. Basically, whenever Dave is with us, our job is to stand next to him apologising, rolling our eyes, and delivering sarcastic put-downs to his anecdotes.

Rich: So, what do we really want to write in this entry, James? This is unprecedented opportunity to reach a HUGE audience

James: I don’t know… we need to talk about Dave I suppose, something lighthearted…

Rich: But brutal

James: He did a stand-up routine for us this morning.

Rich: Yeah, what did you think?

James: Stars out of five, you mean? Well, I suppose if I’m honest… it would get a couple of stars

Rich: So two?

James: Yeah, it was a hard audience though.

Dave (from background): How’s it going, guys?

James: We can’t think of anything funny.

Dave: That’s why you should leave the comedy to me. (walks off)

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I am the furthest north I have ever been in this country for the Fringe Festival with a few mates and having a great time and whilst I haven’t tried a battered mars bar in my first 24 hours here I am sure I will have by the end of the week.

So far I have seen 5 shows (plus a load of street theatre) some good and a couple very bad, but I have only had to pay for one and that was half price - I could give the Scots lessons on being tight!

Anyways I am off to enjoy some more of the festival!

Unlike a few weeks ago when to fill time at work by having a “Haiku Hour” I was actually bored today and started making note which some might call “poetry” - For anyone inclined to be critical of the following stuff please do note the fact I have used the word poetry in quotation marks.

Bloom a memory
The rose sheds crimson tears
For fading beauty.

—

I care not for caring,
But I do care nonetheless -
For you at least.
Though you,
Do not care for me.

—

On edge,
Spinning around -
In circles.
A decision,
To be made.
I call, “Tails!”

—

The silent moon is shattered,
By a well aimed rock -
Thrown into a pond.