CameraDave.co.uk

After all you’ve told me where you live and everyone knows how reliable internet tests are!

Probability of Killing = 77%

You have seen much death, either in reality or in entertainment. you may have killed someone already, or have tried to kill yourself. You probably need to see a psychiatrist for help. Avoid making enemies at all costs, and pursue a happy hobby.

Are you capable of killing?

Part 4 in the contining saga of caller stupidity…

Now this person managed to somehow get past the obstacle of giving me their postcode, which given the subsequent conversation I am amazed by as they managed to fall down at an even easier hurdle - their house number.

So imagine the scene if you will; it’s all going well, I’ve got the post code straight off the bat and I am thinking that the call should be uneventful, after all I am past the hardest part of the call for most people.

Now to confirm the first line of the address…

Me: Could I ask you to confirm the first line of your address please?

Them: It’s Idiot Manor*

Me: (Noting there is no such house name and it’s a list of numbered address and wondering if it’s just pretension giving the house a name) And does it have a number sir?

Them: No.

Me: (Wondering if it’s an issue with the postcode.) COuld I ask you what road your house is on?

Them: 5 Moron Grove*

Me: (Finding this on my list.) So your house number is number 5 then?

Them: Yes.

Me: (After hitting the mute button.) FUCKWIT!!! (Releasing mute button and going back to talking to moron caller mode)  And may I take your…

At least when I say something stupid I make people laugh all these callers make me want to do is cry!

*Names have been changed to protect the stupid, even if I personally think they should be removed from the gene pool!

He’s swears that he wasn’t looking at her breasts - I say that the camera never lies!

The Metro usually only ever has one story a day worth reading, but it’s always worth looking for such as today’s story from Bulgaria:

Several teenage girls were hurt in a mass brawl over a handsome male student. Police had to be called when 23 girls,aged 15 to 18, skipped school to fight it out in a playground using brass knuckles, chains and beer bottles. Dozens of passers-by watched as the incident unfolded in the Gorublyane district of the capital Sofia. The identity of the youth at the centre their affections has not been revealed by the  police.

I can only imagine the riots that would be caused if I visited - after all I am such a handsome devil!

It’s true! I actually was born blonde, it was only a few months later that my hair decided to settle on it’s present colour of almost (but not quite) black, but my past as a blonde does sometimes give itself away in what I say.

The other day I managed a stirling example of this a few days ago when discussing sanitary protection with a caller,but today I feel that I managed to top that and all I can say in my defence is that it was early in the morning and I was barely awake thanks to a bad nights sleep.

One of my colleages was celebrating the fact that her sister had given birth yesterday and was describing the child and how it was “chubby with lots of hair and looked chinese” omitting to mention whether it was a boy or a girl,which prompted  me to ask, “Does that make you an aunt or an uncle then?”