CameraDave.co.uk

I am a reasonably security concious person - I never leave my bike unlocked and unattended. I can’t however say I am very security concious, as whilst I always leave my bike locked up I somehow managed to leave the key in the lock earlier today.

The best bit was once I discovered that the key was no longer on my keyring I went round the shop I had just been in trying to see where I had dropped it. Mind you at least I learned from the last time I lost a set of bike keys, this time the spare wasn’t attached to the actual key and so all I had to do was pop home, pick up the spare key and feel like a fool when I found the original key in the lock.

The ‘mystery’ headline act I saw on Saturday night was The Pipettes, a band I was introduced to by the housemate I went to see them with at the weekend. When we saw they were on we both immediately agreed that we had to go and see them - Not because they are the best band ever, but because judging from their previous album, a gig of theirs should be a lot of fun.

They play heavily upon a retro look and sound think polka dots and (on their first album at least) a 60s sound, that’s catchy and eminently danceable to. In fact, I even said to my housemate beforehand it was a shame I was going with him and not a girl, as I knew I’d probably dance their set away given the chance.

I was right as well, whilst I didn’t have a partner by the end of their set I’d given up taking photos (thanks mainly to my batteries dying) and opted to concentrate on the dancing.

Their set was a mixed bag, about 40/60 old and new. The old went down well and the new went down better once the crowd had warmed up a little. I do feel they missed a trick starting with an unfamiliar track and not opening with their, “We are the Pipettes”. Although as how only one of the band dates from the album where that track appears, I can understand why they didn’t do it - Although to be honest to me The Pipettes are more of a concept rather than individual members of a band.

Whilst their older material had the 60s sound, their newer stuff was a much more up to date sound - Well 10 years more up to date anyways and was decidedly disco in flavour. all I can say to this is that whilst I love disco I hope they get this album released sooner rather than later so they can start on their 80s album - Yes, I love 80s music and no, I am not really old enough to have appreciated it the first time round.

I only had one problem with their act and that was the girl standing too far apart, as you can see in the picture at the top it was pretty much impossible to get all three in on the same photo.

I was worried last night about going to a gig crossdressed for the club night I was expected to appear at afterwards, as this photo shows I needn’t have worried:

Allow me to explain, last night I was more in demand than I have been for ages and I was double-booked. On the last Saturday of the month is a regular night I attend called Pandora’s Box. This is a night that thanks to a combinaion of my penchant for dressing up and my friends I am considered underdressed if I am dressed as a man. As proof of this I offer an extract of a conversation I had there the first time I was their dressed as a man.

Her: Hi… I know your face, but I can’t place the name.
Me: Think wig and heels.
Her: You’re Jessica?*
Me: Yup.

(Insert 2-3 minutes of ‘How are you?’ type chat.)

Her: Fuck, it’s weird talking to you dressed as man.
Me: Really?
Her: Well this is the first time I have spoken to you dressed as a man. Whenever I see you you are wearing more make up than me.
Me: Point taken.

I had even planned an outfit for the night, or rather I was planning to wear the outfit I was planning to wear last month until I wound up not going out.

However on Thursday, my housemate and I noticed that there was a gig on for a band that we both liked - Naturally it was last night as well. Fortunately the timings didn’t really clash as the gig was at a club before a club night and Pandora’s Box is a slightly clubby night - Inasmuch as it has loud music and dancing until the early hours.

The catch was though was before going out to the club where I usually cross-dress, I had a gig to go to. A gig at an unknown venue where I had no idea how well a man in a dress would go down and I have to admit it I bottled it. I decided to go out dressed as a man, despite the fact I have more fun tarted up.

Turns out though I shouldn’t really have worried, whilst the headline act who we wanted to see was all woman, both of the support acts had cross-dressing men in them. One because they had a man standing in for their regular drummer and as they were the She Creatures, they had him squeezed into a sequinned dress - Although sadly they hid him at the back so it was hard to get any pictures of that particular vision of loveliness.

The next act made up for that however, as the crossdresser was their lead singer, who whilst not in a dress and was a self proclaimed vision. Although somewhat randomly choosing to open with their lead singer declaring he was here to “bitchslap us”, Billie the Vision and the Dancers put on a great show with an abundance of energy and whilst I might not have called the band dancers, they certainly bounced around the stage a lot - I may not have been bouncing, but I’d be lying if I said my foot wasn’t tapping throughout their set.

They are also kind enough to have their music online for download, with a pay what you think it’s worth policy and I have to admit that it’s certainly worth a listen and parting with a little cash for - If you only listen to one of their songs try Lily from Middleway Street.

As to the headline act themselves, I’ve not mentioned their name for a reason - It’s so I can save their photo for tomorrow.

*As well as me friends getting me to come out dressed up, they also suggested I should have a name. I tried Jessica, but ultimately settled on Dave.

This one was easy. In the words of Roy Walker, “just say what you see.”

Still not got it? The answer to yesterdays ‘more autistic than artistic’ conundrum was Beck’s Loser. A song where although the title makes for an easy pictogram the same cannot be said for the lyrics. How would you illustate the lines:

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey,
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie.
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables,
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose.

I could probably manage the first line, but you have seen my artistic skill and guess how much of a struggle that would be for me, let alone trying to represent a pair of beefcake pantyhose - And even if I could draw it, believe me when I say you don’t want to see the image that phrase just put into my head.

Or Part 3 if you want to be pedantic, after all part 2 would have been where I gave the answer to the first pictogram.

Either way as I haven’t been moved to go outside with my camera lately here is another pictogram to represent the title of a song, can you name that tune?

Lots of little things irritate me immeasurably; from people who go “Oh, I’m called Dave as well” when I answer the phone to them and people who walk slowly and get in the way when walking along a pavement.

The thing that has irritated me the most today though is people standing in doorways.At least on a pavement or in a corridor you can usually get past somehow, but when a doorway is blocked even breathing in won’t help a fat bastard like me get through.

I don’t know what it was about people today, but almost every door I had to go through had someone standing in it. Being the passive aggresive person I am, I of course said nothing and just looked disapprovingly at them until they got the hint and moverd their arse out of the way.

It was whilst i was waiting for one such slow moving cretin to get out of the way when I had a brain wave that would help solve the problem. make it legal to rugby tackle people stood in doorways!

Not only would it lower blood pressures across the land in people like me, it would help us take some of our frustrations at daily life on not so innocent loiterers.  Of course people would soon learn to not obstruct doorways for fear of me crashing into them at full tilt, but that is fine by me - Although I wouldn’t get to relieve stress in this manner, I wouldn’t be as irritated in the first place and so I win either way.

Except for the fact by making myself less likely to have a coronary, I have to work even longer in a monotonous job before I finally die of boredom and alcohol abuse.