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Despite a love of pun and wordplay my sense of humour is tends towards the dark, sick and un-PC and the only thing in my opinion funnier than a good German war joke is telling a bad German war joke to a class full of German students - I know this as I actually told a selection of such jokes to a class on my last day in Germany, it went so well I had to use my necrophilia jokes to revive my lesson.

Anyways whilst browsing the Internet at work today I have found a German war joke that I haven’t seen before and apparently was stolen from someone at the Edinburgh Festival and so I am going to appropriate it for my site as well (and for any other lessons I may or may not do in Germany on comedy):

“Wouldn’t Hitler have been crap at the game paper, rock and scissors?” (He then mimes the game before breaking into Hitler’s salute, which is like the symbol for paper.)

“Winston Churchill should have challenged him to a game.” (He then holds his arm in the air mimicking Churchill’s V-sign victory salute, which looks like scissors, which beats paper.)

I think I have said before that I love taking photos it’s the work afterwards than can be involved that I dislike as after a week in Kiel I find I took about three thousand photos as well as having a great time.

I have managed to make the job bigger as well as I have e-mails for about 50 or so people who have requested particular photos or groups of photos and so once I have done the editing I have to email as many people as possible with the right photos.

Add to that a few photos I have outstanding that I have to sort out for other people and the next few days are going to be full of my least favourite photo editing tasks.

Earlier I should have been watching England vs Germany, ideally with England in the lead about to send Germany to Berlin a couple of weeks early, unfortunately I am not thanks to that bastard Steven Gerrard.

Still judging by the way Germany played if we had have met them we’d be the ones going home at the end of the game, just like I am currently doing.  Now the game ended about three hours ago and people are still going about beeping horns and waving flags, it’s been three hours now so it seems a little excessive – Unless of course whilst everyone was distracted watching the football Germany also managed to win a war as well…

Last night was a long one, I was in the pub until five in the morning drinking with the Irish Navy and eventually driven back to my friends on a German military bus meant to take the sailors back to the navy base.

So it was slightly sore of throat that I greeted my favourite class from the Käthe Kollwitz Schule with a bag of goodies that I had brought with me from England – nothing too amazing but enough to make for a bit of fun in a lesson.  Now I have to say that earlier in the week I introduced a couple of classes to Marmite and I was seeing how well the love-hate Marmite principle was holding up with most students hating it.

I started the lesson with some lemon curd spread thickly on bread, saying it was on of my favourite sweet things to put in a sandwich and that it was even better with clotted cream and the class naturally enough liked it for the most part – but then it was time for the Marmite and to keep the surprise they all had to try it at the same time and I have never seen so many people rushing at the same time to find water before.

When I arrived in Kiel on Saturday I managed to find listings for the week of all the events on in Kiel during the week and I made notes as to what I should go and see – so far I have managed nothing that I planned and so I haven’t:

Seen New Model Army.
Gone and laughed at Right Said Fred.
Seen any of the sailing (the real meaning of Kieler Woche).
Visited the Irish Pub more than once.

But on the plus side I have….

Partied! Partied! Partied!
Introduced some former students to Marmite.
Been on board an English Navy ship (H.M.S. Edinburgh).
Been given lots of beer for photos.
Used all of my German insults.
And taken about 1,500 photos.

Yes I know I have been slack on here recently, but next week should see some cracking photos as I am enjoying Kieler Woche and so far amongst several other things I have:

Wound up drinking with a group of random germans til 5 in the morning as I lost my other friends and they said I had to come and party with them.

Been out with an English Naval crew and onboard there ship taking photos.

Been drinking with an Irish crew and I am going aboard there ship today.

Been driven home by the military taxis after a German Officer said I could have a lift.

And I have also managed to not do any of the stuff that I have actually planned to do (like go and laugh at Right Said Fred!