Last week whilst taking photos over Freshers’ I also shot a few seconds of video as well, as I figured that sometimes photos aren’t quite enough to show exactly what was going on, such as a drinking competition.
I’ve never put anything up on YouTube before, but the last time I tried putting a video up on here I managed to upset my hosting company and get my site temporarily taken down and so rather than work out a fancy solution I have opted for YouTube as a solution, so here as promised at the weekend is the second round of the Calvin Whittle AKA Calvin from Hollyoaks vs a fresher drinking contest - I say a second round, as the first round of this was a dead heat between them.
Anyways the question is the fresher beat a second year and a third year and then held Calvin to a draw - What happened next?
Needless to say, he was quite relieved by the result.
It’s been a long week and there’s been a lot of music played. Some songs have been so ubiqitous that they fel like they’ve been played almost every night, but there have been plenty of songs that haven’t been played as often and it’s been great hearing songs that I haven’t heard for ages - This morning in the Baa Baas there seemed to be a Kenny Rogers medley play, but even that didn’t compare to earlier in the week when I was sat down editing photos and this came on the jukebox:
Today is “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, although living in Bristol as I do that makes no real difference as most people sound like pirates every day.
In observance of the day I am due to set sail shortly and head off to a friends where the grog will be passed around more than a few times tonight I suspect and as I cannot give you grog over the Internet here are some jokes I have plundered from PirateJokes.net:
How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!
Did you hear about the pirate who took up boxing?
He had a killer left hook!
What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrr! Me heartie!
Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck!
And here are a few longer ones…
So, there’s this pirate ship in the midst of a long voyage. The men have grown terribly bored. A pirate amongst them happens to know a bunch of magic tricks, and he decides to put on a magic show. His parrot, however, is quite gossipy and can’t keep it’s mouth shut.
The pirate begins his first trick, and tha parrot gives it away by saying “rawwk, the coin is in the other hand, rawwk!”
Frustrated, the pirate tries another trick, but again, the parrot gives it away by blurting out “rawwk, look under the table, rawwk!”
This goes on for some time, to a point that the pirate can’t manage to perform anything spectacular to entertain the crew. His anger towards his blabbermouth parrot eventually grows so phenomenal that one night he gets very drunk and accidentally crashes the ship into some rocks.
Sobering up the next morning, he finds himself adrift on some wreckage. The parrot, ever the attentive sidekick, happens to land next to him looking quite puzzled. It says to him:
“Rawwk, Okay, I give up, What’d ya do with the boat?”
—–
A guy walks into a pub with a t-shirt that says “Pirates are stupid for 3 reasons!” He walks up to the bar, orders an ale. and sits down. He no more than gets his quaff when a smelly old sot comes up to him and says, “Aaargh, thar, matey! What’s that yer shirt be sayin’ thar?”
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says “Reason number 1 — Pirates can’t read!” Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man’s shoulder, and slowly says, “What’s that ye be sayin’ thar, sonny-boy?”
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, “Rea-son num-ber 2 — Pirates can’t hear!” And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, “Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!”
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, “Reason #3 — You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!”
The above picture is about the limit of my skill with a pen or pencil and shows why I stick to using a camera when doing portraits. I might only be an average photographer, but I am certainly a sub-par illustrator.
This week, for the first time several of my friends might actually approve of what I have been listening to with Nightwish and Emilie Autumn claiming the top spots and satisfying the more gothic of my friends. For the more mellow of my friends, lower down the table (but by no means worse) is an Ivor Novello winning artist, Scott Matthews.
(37) Nightwish - Over The Hills And Far Away
(24) Emilie Autumn - The Art Of Suicide
(23) Tilly & The Wall - The Freest Man
(18) Jeff Wayne - Thunderchild
(17) Tracey Thorn - A-Z
(15) Shakespear’s Sister - Stay
(15) Moloko - Indigo
(14) The Police - Roxanne
(14) Scott Matthews - Elusive
(13) Kaiser Chiefs - Every Day I Love You Less And Less
Personally though my favourite of the tracks musically this week have to be Thunderchild from the Jeff Wayne’s epic album, War of the Worlds. It truly is awesome (as is most of the rest of the album). If you haven’t heard it before go and find it and revel in the glory and rememeber, sometimes odds of a million to one aren’t long enough.
I have to make a special mention of the Kaiser Chiefs though, as I have to admit that I like many other slightly insensitive men over the past few year I have used this song to drop a not so subtle hint to a certain (special at the time) someone. Whilst I am not exactly proud of that fact, I must admit whenever I hear the track I do remember the scene and it never fails to make me smile - Does that make me a bad person?
…except for those people unfortunate enough to have had a fatal heart attack today, or stupid people who’ve walked out in front of a bus, etc.
Not that we were all going to die today, despite what stupid, ignorant, hippie doom-mongers would have us believe. If we are going to all die because of the Large Hadron Collider* it won’t be today, it’ll be in a couple of months when they’ve got the thing up to speed and start the actually smashing particles together - An event I suspect that will pass largely unnoticed by the world at large.
Still maybe the media hysteria will turn a few bright minds onto science for the future, just so their own pet projects in 50 years can be accused of putting the world at risk.
*Or Black Hole Machine as Frankie Boyle would have it.
