I’ve argued repeatedly that Maths canbefunny to little avail with most of my friends and now I’d like to argue that it can also be romantic. I admit that it’s more of a stretch to argue this particular case without some kind of obligatory multiplication gag.
A picture being worth a thousand words here’s a post from xkcd that I meant to post a couple of weeks back for Valentine’s Day:
I know technically it doesn’t work, but I have to admit if I got this as a Valentine I’d be well chuffed - That said seeing as how I haven’t had a Valentine for several years, I’d be chuffed just to get one so perhaps I should say I’d be especially chuffed if I received something like a Sierpinski Valentine.
For the uninitiated and curious the idea comes from a fascinating shape called a Sierpinski Triangle which is a surprisingly complex shape that is generated by a couple of very simple rule, for more on it have a look here at wikipedia on Sierpinski Triangles.
Any one else think that these mercenary miniatures from Froundry are French? After all with the stripes and berets, all that is missing is the onions.
I found these models looking through Foundry’s Street Violence models, whilst looking for some 28mm minis I had seen on a forum I am part of and whilst I couldn’t find the original post I recalled that where they came from - Or at least I thought I did, when I looked I couldn’t find what I was looking for and instead found these “French” mercenaries.
More awesomely I also found a set of miniatures that bore a striking resembalance to the best mercs from the 80s - The ‘A’ team, although for important legal reasons the set was called “The B Team” and had characters such as Mister Z.
I nearly bought them, but sadly their purchase will have to wait for another day. I had to chose between buying just them or buying some ninja and Shaolin monks that had also caught my eye on another site. The monks and the ninja won out - Partly for cost reasons (I could get 15 minis or 5), but also because I reckon my painting skills aren’t good enough to do ‘The B Team’ justice.
I’ve just been informed that the stripy tops don’t suggest that they are French, apparently to those who know more about things miltary they are more likely to be Russian special forces, as evidenced by the following recruitment video which shows just how manly they are.
The same persons who pointed out that also observed further evidence that these mercenaries are unlikely to be French, as they look like they are facing the enemy and not runing away.
Or “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…………..” as I said when I read the news that this year’s Lingerie Bowl has been cancelled. Rather amusingly it’s been called off because of concerns over nudity as it was to be held at a “luxury clothing-optional resort” and the owners denied the Lingerie Football League’s request to make the area area around the pitch clothing required saying, “I can tell them where they can’t have clothes on (the pool), but I can’t tell them where they must have clothes.”
For the uninitiated here is some footage from a previous Lingerie Bowl, just watch the first two minutes and you’ll see why I was planning to watch it and it’s for the commentary not the girls I assure you - In the first two minutes of this clip, as one of the players is running in a slow-motion replay the female commentator is obvious lost for words as all she is able to say is “jiggle, jiggle, jiggle” and the hilarity doesn’t end there. My favourite moment is when the commentator invites us to “look at the view” as several of the players are in front of the camera bent over about to begin a play.
Of course all is not lost - There are other alternatives to the Super Bowl this weekend, such as the Puppy Bowl V, where viewer will get to see a parrot sing a “special” rendition of the nation anthem, dancing kittens at halftime and of course, “Man’s best friend playing America’s favourite game”. If that sounds crazy just listen to this quote from the ref and it’ll seem perfectly sane:
“I think we all have a calling. Some of us are firemen, some are policemen. I am a ref. I referee little, cute, adorable puppies pretending to play football for people’s enjoyment. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.”
Tonight is roleplay night for me, although at the moment instead of just roleplay we have also been experimenting with other ideas from one off roleplay games giving everyone a chance at running something to playing DOOM: The Boardgame, which has been surprisingly entertaining. Last week we ran a .45 adventure game which the producers describe as a narrative action game, which is part board game and part roleplay.
The setting was Stargate and here is a write up of last week’s session that I have only just got around to finishing.
The following extract is from a personal journal kept against regulations and discovered amongst his personal effects after going missing on a mission to PX2-51. This is a rendition of the events on a recon mission to Urth (originally designated as P5X-1138). Regarding this mission of particular significance were the sheep referred to as subsequent investigation showed it to be almost genetically identical to the Manx Longturn Sheep, a species that until this discovery was on the brink of extinction.
The briefing indicated that there would be a high probability of a first contact being made as the MALP’s sensors what looked like a small homestead just south-east of the gate and some sheep-like creatures grazing in the vicinity.
Giving the order to advance through the gate I noticed that Lt. Cpl. Wolf was driving more carefully than on our previous mission. No doubt the motor pool had requested that he try and avoid rock formations with the Wolf this time and live up to his nickname.
Arriving the other side of the gate showed there was little chance of a repeat of that debacle as we were on the edge of a wood and there was a distinct absence of large rocks to collide with. There were obstacles however in the form of the creatures the MALP had indicated were nearby, which appeared to be gathered around something about 150 meters away. The homestead was about 250 meters further away beyond the herd and to the north lay woods.
Advancing slowly so as not to disturb the herd Lt. Cpl. Wolf drew us closer for a look at the animals, as the MALP had indicated thanks to a curious member of the herd coming over to investigate it earlier they were rather sheepish. Closer inspection confirmed the similarity although the heads of several were adorned with pairs of horns, most had 2 or for but some of the larger had six horns. Despite this though they seemed placid enough as although members of the herd noticed our approach there were not any obvious displays of aggression.
I got out to have a closer look at the sheep and to see what they were gathered around. Pushing carefully through the herd followed by Cpl. Archer the sheep didn’t seem to mind us overmuch. As one of the animals moved aside I though I caught a glimpse of an outstretched hand on the ground and concerned for whomever it might have been I pushed forward more rapidly. Unfortunately for me this disturbed the herd and one of the biggest members presumably assuming I was a threat ran at me from the side and caught me in the leg with one of it’s horns knocking my under the hooves of the rest of the herd. Cpl. Archer, who had been just behind me attempted to distract it and prevent it injuring me further whilst I was prone before it.
It reared up in front of Cpl. Archer, who was finding out that a pistol is a less than ideal weapon against an aggressive ram and just as it was about to attempt to gore him Sgt. Dogg gave Lt. Cpl. Wolf the order to fire. Executing a clean headshot Cpl Calibre dropped the ram, before it injured Cpl. Archer further. The sound of the shot caused the rest of the herd to scatter away from us in panic, allowing me to regain my feet. Seeing the wound Cpl. Archer had on his leg I instructed him to stay on the ground whilst I attended to his injury, despite the blood the wound was not as bad as I had initially feared. One of the horns had torn through his uniform and whilst it had just gashed his inner thigh and I joked with him about how it was lucky he wasn’t six inches shorter before attending to my own wound.
Remembering the hand I had been trying to investigate before the ram had interrupted I went over and discovered a young, unconscious man clad in bloodstained woollen trousers held up by a knotted rope who had evidently been attacked before us and received further wounds being trampled by the herd, his wounds were serious and whilst I was able to stabilise him he remained unconscious and it was obvious that without proper medical attention his wounds would probably kill him.
Whilst I was doing this Cpl Calibre headed into the trees thinking he had heard something, whilst Lt. Cpl. Wolf and Sgt. Dogg reboarded the landie and got it moving again towards the bungalow with Cpl. Archer following on foot. Just as I was about to signal Lt. Cpl. Wolf to bring the Wolf back so that I give the native some further attention from within the trees the sound of a single staff weapon discharging sounded. Cpl Calibre indicated that he was being fired at by a human armed with a staff weapon and requested permission to open fire. I told him to avoid firing if at all possible and started running towards the trees following the sounds of the staff weapon firing accompanied by shouting.
Pulling up to Cpl Calibre’s position and pausing for a moment to concentrate on the shouting I realised that the language was Germanic and that he was accusing us of being hustlers after his sheep. Indicating to Cpl Calibre that he should cover me I shouted that we were not hustlers and didn’t wish to hurt him before stepping out from the cover of a tree into view of the man. He looked to be in his forties and shared a resemblance to the teenager I had discovered trampled by the herd. Guessing that he was the father I told him that his son was seriously hurt, but that we could help if he would let us.
Seeing that we intended him no harm he drew closer and I led him towards his son’s body leaving Cpl Calibre to continue investigating the edge of the woods. Introducing myself I found that he called himself Bernhart and tried to engage him in further conversation. Worried about a possible Jaffa presence due to his possession of the staff weapon as I walked with him I attempted to find out where he had obtained it from, but all I was able to understand was that he had fought a man for it when he was much younger and stronger. It was obviously a useful trophy to him and from the way he carried it, he was obvious familiar with it’s use. Seeing his son on the ground near the landie which Lt. Cpl. Wolf had brought round he ran forward, obviously concerned for the boy. He was saying something about how the boy had been injured by a beast and how he had been trying to hunt it - I indicated to the ram we had killed, but he shook his head and said something I couldn’t understand about man-beast.
I tried to explain that his son’s injuries were serious and that we could help if he would let us take his son back through the gate with us, at first he was reluctant but when I indicated that here he would die and but that we could take him thought the gate and heal him and that we would bring him back he calmed back down and started helping Sgt. Dogg lift the body into the back of the Wolf which the shepherd seemed somewhat in awe of.
Whilst the Lt. Cpl. Wolf had looped the Land Rover back round, Cpl. Archer had continued advancing towards the home of the shepherd and encountered his wife wield a skillet, able to understand her intent if not the words Cpl. Archer shouted for me to come over and calm her down. Jogging over to his position a bestial roar followed by gunfire sounded out sending the sheep into a panic and the woman ran back into her house. Turning to face the direction the roar had come from I saw Cpl Calibre backing out of the trees pursued by some kind of monstrous creature, obviously the man-beast that Bernhart had been talking about.
It stood about 8ft tall and was covered in dark fur and surprising agile for something so large. It was also tough, Cpl Calibre’s fire didn’t appear to be affecting it unduly. Attempting to aid Cpl Calibre I halted my advance and I drew up my rifle, firing a three round burst into it’s shoulder. All this did however was enrage it further and with a blood-curdling cry of bestial rage it leapt forward towards Cpl Calibre sweeping one of it’s massive arms at him. Attempting to protect himself and his rifle Cpl Calibre cried out in pain as his right arm was broken by the beast.
Carefully choosing my shots along with Sgt. Dogg I fired at the beast and whilst the animal was not stopped by the fire it was distracted enough by the wounds it was receiving to allow Cpl Calibre to break free from the monster and put some distance between him and it. Seeing the lack of effect the fire from Sgt. Dogg and I was having and seeing Cpl Calibre outdistancing the creature, Cpl. Archer from the cover of the wall around the homestead decided that his pistol would be useless and took aim with one of his LAWs. Unfortunately for me however, he hadn’t noticed my proximity to the Beast and that I would be caught within the blast. Seeing the streak of the rocket and knowing what it meant I hit the deck and whilst hit by some shrapnel I was relatively unscathed - The beast was also seemingly unscathed, despite being caught unawares and hit directly. Picking myself up off the ground assuming the demise of the beast I was caught off-guard as the beast lunged out of the smoke at me and raked it’s claws across my chest.
Not seeing that I was engaged with the beast due to the smoke surrounding us Cpl. Archer fired his remaining LAW at the beast and caught it squarely in the back, obliterating it in a mass of gore which covered me and forced me to the ground underneath the weight of the remaining bodyparts. Amazingly I escaped unscathed from the blast, I can only presume that the body of the beast protected me from most of the blast. Trapped underneath the body unable to free myself I surprised Cpl. Archer coming over to inspect his handiwork who found me underneath the corpse and unharmed, I suspect however that my language as he helped me out from under it wasn’t a surprise to him.
As I tending to Cpl Calibre’s arm, Sgt. Dogg suggested that we should take the ram back with us as well as some of the remains of the beast. When I asked Bernhart he seemed reluctant indicating that he planned to butcher the ram. I suggested a trade and that perhaps we could buy it from him, but he still seemed reluctant as he evidently considered it valuable. It was at this point that Cpl. Archer suggested we trade food with him for it if he was so worried about losing a source of food and that we offer him our MREs as well as bring something more palatable back through the gate with us.
Once we offered to trade it for food he was much more ameniable to the loss of his ram and he help us secure it to the bonnet so that we could take it back through the gate with us. Because we were taking his son back with us I offered to take him as well, but the thought of going through the gate made him uneasy and he begged off going explaining that he had to look after his wife and herd.
I saw this whilst window shopping back in Bath back at the beginning of the month and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted. Fortunately for me however the shop was closed at the time and thus the potential crisis was neatly averted.
All opinions expressed here are my own unless you happen to agree with them in which case the opinion is yours as well as mine and if you happen to have a different opinion you are welcome to keep it yourself unless of course it's worth listening to. All content copyright David Hutchison 2005-2009 Original WP-Theme by Vladimir Simovic and edited by me.